X-Men Origins: Wolverine

X-men Origins is the latest attempt of Marvels to do a couple of things

1) Create a movie with one of the most badass characters of all time

2) While kicking of the summer movie season

3) All while trying to save money, for not particular reason.

The movie comes out of it's corner like a lion. The start is a little creepy with a slowly building theme of kickassry and badassitude supplied by Hugh Jackman and Leiv Schrieber killing everything. Which is perfect, that's what this movie is supposed to be and it does it well.

The writing is decent and the action is awesome. As with everyone else who has written one of these blasted reviews, Ryan Reynolds was an amazing Dead Pool and I am GIDDY that he will be getting his own movie. Though I truly hope they ignore some of the ideas that they set up for him in this movie, they really are a step too far in what his powers really are. Honestly, sucking up mutants powers? That's Rogue, we've already SEEN that power.

Now we come to the part that ruins the movie. Not to the point where I wanted to walk out, but the graphics nonetheless, were atrocious. They were rudimentary as if they spent all their money to film in New Zealand...which it looks like they did. They had no reason to film there, yet they did and I think it's the reason we got less than polished CGI through out most of the movie. Bad green screen effect, and some others that I don't even know what to call. If you have seen it I'll refer you to the fight scene with Gambit. The last thing I wish to rag on is the last scene with Professor X...He looked like a white Asian Alien that had cheap Botox. For serious guys, airbrushing only goes far.

Despite all this the movie was funny where it meant to be funny (Except for the last scene with Dead Pool) it was predictable, and the graphics were substandard. All of this is offset by the fact that Dreamy Hugh Jackman kicked ass...a lot of ass...a plethora of ass if you will. And if you stay after for the credit, you'll be a little disappointed, it was boring, it could have been better. Yet like the rest of the movie it was just predictable.

So this movie gets a

6 spinning Deadpool heads out of 10

New Wolverine Trailer

The Wolverine Trailer was released with The Watchmen to much MUCH adulation of the theater goers.

Whooo, a Ripshit pissed Wolverine.

The Watchmen

Last night, I took the hour hike up to the theater with stadium seating and the like to see the midnight showing of The Watchmen. A Hugo Award winner, directed by Zack Snyder (300), named by Time's magazine as one of the top 100 English novels of all time; the only comic book/graphic novel on said list. Let me just start out by saying that I loved it. It stuck remarkably close to the source material.

Before you see the movie, you must realize that this is not an action movie; do not go to see this movie and think that it's a knock off of the the X-men. This is not an adrenaline fill no holds barred thrill ride. It's a very philosophical movie, just like the book. It really is crafted to make you think, which it does.

There is no sugar coating on the philosophy, the violence, or the sexuality in the film. Just as Rorschach said, "Never compromise, even in the face of Apocalypse." This, I believe, is the view that Synder took while directing this. I was impressed by the way he muscled through the problems to get this movie out and I'm glad that he did. The bottom line for this film is simply this: If you're expecting tons of action, you will be disappointed.

While the action scenes are very well done, I am reminded slightly of Taken, by the fact that they take almost everything down with a single shot...well, in this case a punch. Still, the action scenes are impressive. However, the excessive use of slow motion gets a little tiresome by the end of the 3 hour film. The sex scenes on the other hand...wow...eletric blue man ass. Then less blue THRUSTING man ass. So yeah, expect nudity...lots of dong and ass. Then there is Malin Akerman, ahem, I think I need a moment...

Aaaaand we're back. The casting for this movie is phenomenal for Rorschach, Nite Owl, Silk Spectre II, Ozymandias. Either they had the best make up artist on the goddamn planet, or these people were part of a secret breeding program designed only play these characters (ala Bene Gesserit). Rorschach in particular was amazingly well done. The only bit of critism I have for the make up is Richard Nixon and the aging of the Comedian. Nixon was just poorly done and the Comedian just had a little too much CGI touchups.

So there you go my friends, we have on our hands an amazing movie, and one of my favorites of all time. It is uncomprimising on the source material in everything save for the ending. Which...while it is an important change, the ending fits very well and might even be more believable than the book.

9 giant blue dongs out of 10

The International

A James Bond for accountants.
4 intense Clive Owen stares out of 10.

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Leaked Transformers 2 trailer

I find myself becoming more hopeful.

Taken

BOOM HEADSHOT. Liam Neeson kicks ass, takes names, kicks somemore ass, and then kills a Jabba the Hutt imposture. This is Jason Stathom in 25 years.
9 electrocuted Albanians out of 10

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Inkheart

A movie no one saw, to a book almost no one read. Brandon Fraiser remains remarkably unremarkable.
6.5 ticking crocodiles out of 10

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Punisher: Warzone

Restart of the Punisher. The story is thus. HOLYSHITBANGBANGDEATHBOOMBRUTALOHMYFACE.
8 kidney's with applesauce out of 10

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Wolverine: Origins

Two words: Jesus Christ.

Transporter 3

Jason Stathom as Jason Stathom removing his clothes and banging hot Ukrainian chicks. Highly entertaining but not original.
7 destroyed Audi's out of 10.

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Quantum of Solace

Worst James Bond movie ever. But a decent movie in it's own right, which saves the movie a little.
5.5 women drowned in oil out of 10

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