Beer and Wine Review: Scottish Ale

Fraoch - Heather Ale

Derick - Very light in texture and taste. It has a good blend of heather, hops, and light spice on the tip of your tongue. Definitely the lightest of the bunch and comparable to a more mellow Blue Moon. I'd drink this with dinner and a couple after.

Tony - After the slight bite of hops the flavor mellows out quickly. It has a very floral flavor as it should see as the Heather is used twice in the brewing of this beer. It has a very clear finish, leaving your mouth feeling refreshed. After this beer, I think that I could go find myself a field of Heather and go to town munching on the stuff.

Alba - Scot's Pine Ale

Derick - This beer was stronger in texture and flavor than the heather and holds its own in taste and texture. A spicy tingle in the back of your tongue will bring out the the malt and hops without overpowering. This beer is a kin to a wine and is to be drank at roughly 65 degrees though we had mistakenly refrigerated it to around 40. Regardless it was a great textured beer with plenty of body and plenty of grain and spice.

Tony - If Pine-Sol made a beer this would be it. It tastes almost the same as the popular cleaning product smells. But, if you're into that sorta thing this would be a good Christmas beer, for the obvious reason. It leaves your mouth with a nice pine-y taste that Mr. Clean would be proud of. Not my favorite by far, but Vikings drank this stuff, so grudgingly give it a thumbs up.

Ebulum - Elderberry Black Ale

Derick - This beer is a spicier version of Guinness with fluffier foam and a good bite upon finish. A light citrus taste accompanies a very thick, dark body (OoOo) Don't get too excited. It also goes down with a grainy texture on your tongue and a hoppy aftertaste.

Tony - This is what Guinness SHOULD be when you drink it from a bottle. As soon as you drink it...BAM...fuckin' flavor all over your face. There is a pleasant roasted flavor swimming through this dark brew that I love, if I could get this on a regular basis I would. It would be an excellent substitute for Guinness in Bread.

Kelpie - Seaweed Ale

Derick - A much stronger version of Bulum with a pervading salt taste. The salty aftertaste may ruin food not suited for this style of dark beer and is too thick to drink in session. If the salt were toned down some it could be quite drinkable. I had trouble finishing the small amount I was given, though this may have been the responsibility of the meal eaten before the tasting.

Tony - I was terrified of this stuff when I first read it's description. Salty beer? BAH. Salt in beer is for fuckin Carona or Dos Equis, both of which can bite me. If I want salt and alcohol I'll have a margarita. BUT, this was actually pretty good. It has a nice earthy flavor that reminds me of Coffee and finishes with the same sorta roasted coffee flavor on the back of your tongue.

Beer and Wine Review: Holy Ail and Blackberry Witbier

Monty Python's Holy Grail: ($10.99 per 6-pack)

Derick- This beer is not worth $11, but it is worth a try. The beer is thick on a clean pallet, although you won't notice after the first swallow. It has a lot of carbonation and a light flavor of spice. What kind of spice? I'm not totally sure but I'm betting on ginger or African Swallow. Not too bitter and with a fluffy kind of foam (if you pour it right.) In the end, I did enjoy the beer and would recommend it to a light drinker or someone looking for a beer at a feast, not a session drinker.

Tony- This was a beer that I was completely drawn in by the packaging. Being that this is Nerdfeast and Monty Python is a staple of the nerd community, it was a must buy. "But TONY," you may ask, "how does it TASTE?!" Well, it doesn't at first. Out of a pint glass much of the flavor is lost, it's subtle almost to non-existence. Though it was my love of the Pythons that brought me back to try it again. In the bottle, the first thing I noticed was a nice wood flavor (or maybe it was burnt witch.) It was slightly smokey and really helped bolster the beer...or maybe it was just the Taco Bell. I enjoyed this, doubly so because of what it represents to me: pure hilarity.

Sam Adams: Blackberry Witbier ($8 per 6-pack)

Derick - This beer has a full body of wheat and light hoops. Any bitter beer taste is enveloped by the sour blackberry. The kicker is that the sourness relishes in your mouth and vanishes shortly after swallowing. This beer should be drank with a meal or for a specific occasion as its thick and filling. The blackberry flavor itself isn't much like the fruit, but like watermelon flavoring it's still delicious even though it isn't accurate.

Tony - Another decent beer, I'm going to have to stop listening to Derick! It's a very light feeling beer in the mouth, not so much hoppy as it is sour. The fruit flavor is there, but if I wasn't told that it was blackberry I would never have guessed it. Compared to the Leinenkugel, this stuff was not a punch in the mouth, it was more like...the feeble whimpering of sad, sad puppies.

Leinenkugel: Sunset Wheat ($8 per 6-pack)

Derick - This drink has all the qualities of a light beer except the title. It has an average amount of carbonation and not a whole lot of flavor while its in your mouth. However, the moment you swallow a faint but easily recognizable taste of blueberries comes to your tongue. It's not so much that the beer is fruit flavored but the air left over is sweetened with blueberries. This beer is great for light drinkers. It's a good way to introduce a noob to beer, this or Blue Moon.

Tony - Beer for people who don't particularly like beer. Leinenkugel was a surprise when I first tried it. Described to me as the fruit loops of beer, I can see where that comes from. Most beer and wine you here described as "A hint of berry" or "chocolate overtones" this beer does not hint at anything. It pops up and yells "SURPRISE SEX" and hits you in the face with fists made of blueberry. It's decent, but not my favorite beer by far.

Wine: Charles Shaw 2006: Shiraz ($3.50 per bottle)

Derick - One of the most gawd-awful scents on a wine I've ever encountered, this one pleasantly surprises in taste. It's not as heavy in flavor as a better Shiraz but it surpasses any comparably priced bottle of wine at its price, and some much higher. When the liquid first hits your tongue its relatively sweet and smooth. As you swallow it turns to bitter, sour, but ultimately good fruit aftertaste, not unlike candy. I was pleased enough to buy a 12 pack for when I don't want to spend $10 just to get drunk.

Tony - This is the worst. There is a reason you do not pay $3.50 a bottle for wine and this is a prime example. Smelling this foul concoction is akin to sticking your nose is a rotting pile of fruit, and not in the alcohol-y kind of rotting, I mean killer flies from outer space kinda rotting. It's true that the flavor is much better than the smell, but seeing as how so much of human taste is derived retro-nasal, this Lambrusco-esque wine is ruined by the taste of rotting grapes.

Culinary School

It's official, I have been accepted into culinary school. Starting in April I will be exploring a world so vastly different from the one I know that, that I'm not quite sure how I'll react. But one thing is sure, I will be attempting to catelogue the event here, for all to see!

This is a world few want to experience, fewer have experienced, and fewer still have lived (passed) to tell the tale of trials and tribulations. The first thing I've noticed on my journey has been the fact that, while information exists, it is vague. Perhaps I can remedy this sorry situation by updating things that you, my one and only reader, will need to know. For example my admissions advisor, a very nice man by the name of Ira Mazer, told me in so many words that "As long as I know what end of the knife to hold, they'll teach me everything else." I being the guy I am cannot abide going into a situation blind. So I ask myself

"Do I need to know the different knives, the difference between and pot and a dutch oven? Do I need to know what a mirepoix is or how to make a bechamel?" All of this questions bother me, so I will answer them for you as I discover the answer.

So please, leave me comment, questions, concerns. (Especially questions) and I will try to answer them as I learn the answer myself.

Thank you and wish me luck.