Bioshock 2 confirmed information.

Spoilers my friends! Bioshock 2 has some comfirmation for us, straight from Shacknews.

• The game is set 10 years after the first BioShock.
• There will be a multiplayer mode, but no details were given.
• The Big Sister is a grown-up Little Sister, and she's hunting you.
• Some levels take place on the sea floor outside of Rapture.
• The Big Sister will periodically pop up after you kill enough Big Daddies. Her arrival is apparently signaled by a Little Sister singing a song.
• The Big Sister is described as fast and "the hardest thing in the game." She'll utilize telekinesis to throw objects at you or use them as shields.
• Your drill overheats, and cannot be used constantly.
• As a Big Daddy, you'll be able to do that nifty shoulder bash move.
• Upgrade trees are now more diverse.
• The Incinerate plasmid allows you to throw a fireball or shoot a stream of fire, depending on upgrades.
• Plasmids can now be combined. For example, mixing Incinerate and Cyclone Trap will result in a flaming trap.
• Weapons and plasmids can be used at the same time.
• You can now heal damaged turrets and bots.
• Players will explore Fontaine Futuristics, which is where the Adam energy is harvested from Little Sisters. Through this, you will learn how the Adam is recovered.
• Series creator Ken Levine is not "substantially involved" in the sequel, as he is working on the "next big game" at 2K Boston.

Okay, I'm going to do a little break down now. I don't understand how one can play as "The first Big Daddy" 10 years after the sequel. I am nervous about this little turn of events. I know that at the end Bioshock, you were effectivally a Big Daddy. But that makes you one of the LAST. So I am confused on that note.

I do like the fact that you can combine weapons and plasmids, as well as plamids and plasmids. FLAMING FUCKING BEES. Is there anything more terrifying than that? I don't know, but I'm excited to find out.

What I am not excited to find out is that the creator is not on board for this game. I hope that they remain faithful to the surreal, creepy, and strangely beautiful feeling of the game.

I am a little frightened of the find out about the how ADAM is harvested. I was drawn into the first game and seeing little girls 'harvested' will be disconcerting to me, I think. Let us send up a prayer to whatever God exists.

God exists and he is a Gamer.

Metal Slug 7

The NeoGeo was perhaps one of my favorite Arcade systems. Not because of the games persay, but because of the variety it offered to those who frequented the Arcades of the world.

Though ours was in a Pizza hut, I always loved playing that damn machine. But one game was my favorite for a many reasons. Metal Slug. A run and gun shooter 2D shooter. You play for 25-50 cents and you get a few minutes of frentic curse inducing play; therefore, something that I abso-fucking-lutely love.

To my joy, a visit to my local Funcoland, and what to my wandering eyes should appear than Metal Slug 7. I promptly purchased it and took it home. Popping it into my Gameboy I was greeted with the familar sights and sounds of Metal Slug. It looks like the game I used to play. It has the game button masher feel. The only draw back in how short the game is.

It is 7 missions long with roughly 3 levels per mission. There is no story behind it, so unless you've played the game before, you'll be fairly lost story-wise. BUT WHO CARES! It's Metal Slug. It's a good game if you've got a little time to kill in the car or a lunch break.

7 dead Saddam Hussein lookalikes out of 10

The Creative Shepard.

A little while ago I read this Penny Arcade and it got me to thinking. Who do I support; because, they truely deserve it.  Tim Schafer, creator of Grim Fandango, Psychonauts, and the upcoming Brutal Legend. A brillant game designer with the heart of a writer. Which makes sense as he majored in computer science from UC Berkeley and focused on Creative Writing. It really shows throughout all of his games which are not only innovative in design but also on story, which has, sadly, been lacking in todays gaming market.

I like entomology, so I looked up what his name means. Perhaps names have some bearing on who or what were are. It's crazy, it's easy to take a name like "Schafer", which means Shepard and apply it as I did in the title of this article. Perhaps he will shepard in a new era of games ala Jesus. It's beautiful imagery, but I highly doubt the bloated industry that we have now will ever allow for such a thing. It interesting but really doesn't how how he thinks, so I looked up interviews and came across this highly original interview. Take a look at it if you want a look into his creative process.

But I became troubled after talking to several of my gaming friends...they had never heard/played of Psychonauts.  One of the most original games of all time, with writing equal to that of Portal. Darkly humorous and witty, containing the a sort of charm that is missing in so many games. I wonder what would have happened if Psychonauts had been published in the same style as The Orange Box. It deserved more than it got, and to Schafer's credit and to the credit of his fan,  he managed to get Psychonauts on the X-box 360 backwards compatible list, after his dedicated fan had, after his urging, e-mailed Microsoft to get it included on their list. Truely a triumph for the little man.

But enough about the past! Let us now talk about the future: Brutal Legend. Heavy metal, Nordic fantasy world where human kind is enslaved to demons, forced to mine car parts out of the still living rock of the land! Half flesh half machine monstrosities roam the album cover world, flaming motorcycles, men with neckmuscles the size of the Hulk headbanging for their masters. If that isn't hardcore, I dunno what is.  People, what we have here is a game that takes the fad of music based games and transforms it from a party game, or a game where 14 year old asian kids leave school to practice it...no a hardcore gaming experience feature music from artists that we know and love. This will be amazing.

But sadly it will be underrepresented. It'll have almost no advertising put behind it, because it is a unknown game. It was shoved into limbo when Activision dropped these original titles when they acquired from a number of different devolpers. (They opted to keep Spyro instead of Brutal Legend or Ghost Busters) Obviously the industry is going through that stage of rampant horomones that teenager catch like a a virus. They are too busy cutting off their nose to spite their face instead of think toward the future of gaming. Where games and story collide to make a true art.

Brutal Legend isn't Grand Theft Auto, or Halo. It's a new game with an unfamilar concept, which distributors hate. They can't grasp the unknown, so they will shell it short, making it a self fulfilling prophecy. Unless we, the internet RISE UP, and make it into something more. So please, put something in your blog/facebook/twitter (but not myspace, it's for the worst kind of people). Let people know that Jack Black will be killing Demons and emo kids with a fuckin' AXE.

Anyway, please people. Find someone you support because they can change the way an industry thinks about itself and it's consumers. And now, another awesome trailer from Brutal Legend

Bioshock 2

As I'm sure you know, my 3 loyal readers, the Bioshock 2: Sea of Dreams teaser trailer was released a while ago and I just read off The Fukerton that there are rumors abound of Big Sisters...I can't wait until the Rule 34 comes out on THAT one.

In the trailer you see the little girl holding the Big Daddy stuffed toy. Well, lo and behold, Take Two Interactive in conjenction with 2K Miran has release a viral website containing a map of the world with marks of kidnapped girls/ reported sightings of...not Big Daddies, as you may have guessed, but rumored Big Sisters and the paranoid scriblings of some conspiracy theorist. There are a few connections between the trailer and the site such as THIS picture

Look familar? Why yes, yes it does. It's the same doll that the presumable growing Little Sister held in the trailer. A link, shit yeah it is. There is one thing that I learned in English 1020 that holds true not just for short stories, but anything short that needs to get a lot of information across: Everything you see/read is on purpose and by design. Undoubtedly these dolls will play a role in the upcoming game...maybe they'll even be the extra you get for purchasing the Special Edition.

Anyway, this is very exciting news folks. So check out the viral site. Read and wait with the same anticipation you have after  6 beers and no bathroom. I know I am.

Dawn of War II

What has the world come to when an excellent RTS destroys itself in the face of grabbing the attention of the less intelligent masses?

Well, it has come to Dawn of War II, the until recent shining light of hope for me to get through the long bouts of loneliness and depression until Starcraft II comes out. But my hope was crushed by the fist of an angry producer god who said "THOU SHALT BE FUCKED BY ANGRY WOMBATS." Now that I think about it, I think I'd rather be raped by wombats than suffer THIS heretic to live.

Those of you who remember the first Dawn of War and it'se expansions remember a very clean game. Traditional in it's use of RTS elements, reminiscent of Starcraft, but different enough to make you really enjoy it. You build barracks and HQs and turrets and you send you super powered alien scrotum crushing Space Marines out to go do some good. Well, my friends, you don't really get that with this game.

DoW II takes away all the traditional elements of the RTS, I understand why they did it. Those who have played the tabletop game know there is no building of anything, and I can kinda see why they would remove those elements to make it closer to it's name sake. By doing so they take away everything that attracts people who play RTS'. I get BORED with this, if I wanted to play a game like this I wouldn't have shelled out 50 dollars for it, I would have gone down to Funcoland and bough Ultramarine Squad Command for my DS. Which is percisely what this game is. A stripped down RTS that does not remain faithful to those who have followed the series since it's start. What a sad way for an excellent franchise to crumble and fall.

I hereby proclaim Exterminatus of this by order of the God-Emperor himself and by the power of the Ordo Hereticus.

3 sad Space Marines out of 10